The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective
Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.
My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.
Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.
She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.
Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.
I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.
She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.
The Other Side: The Content Creator's View
I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.
I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.
I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.
Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.
I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.
I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.
I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.
This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.
Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment
Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?
Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25
If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26
She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27
It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53
She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71
Now You Be the Judge
In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?